Maybe I’m cynical… okay, I am cynical. But in order to try not to be cynical I have to point out that cynicism isn’t all bad… (trust me, that was actually profound and hilarious).

In my wanderings around Spokane, especially on the Fall retreat, I’ve noticed something; well, I’ve noticed a few things. The first is that a 45/55 guy-to-girl ratio is really quite clear. There are a lot of girls that go to Moody. The second thing I noticed is that most girls have 3–4 guys following them around about 90% of the time.

This struck me as funny at first, one of those sorts of “Oh, Bible College…” moments. As I’ve thought about it, though, I’m not sure how healthy it is. First of all, if I was a girl at Moody, I’m pretty sure I would just get sick of it and want to slug some people. Secondly, it could very easily be idolatry (though, I certainly don’t want to say that this is universally the case). I’m getting long winded now, so I’ll make my point and then shut up.

Young men: your goal in life is not to get married. I have a friend who is figuring this out the hard way. Marriage, relationships can be just as much an idol as can money, sex, or television. If you make that the ultimate thing in your life, it will fail you. Your wife-to-be isn’t Jesus. She cannot validate your existence, take away your sin, justify you, or make you holy. That job belongs to Jesus alone (cf. 1 Cor 1:30). You need to get to know Him, become a good bride, before you can get to know a woman and become her husband (cf. Eph 5:22&c).

You probably knew that already; it’s pretty common. The problem is that what we often do is try to become a good Christian man with a good relationship with Jesus so that we can be a good husband. This is still idolatry. Marriage exists to point us to Jesus; Jesus doesn’t exist to make us fit for marriage.

I’ll summarize. Although marriage can assist you in getting to know and love Jesus, knowing and loving Jesus should never be seen as a means to being happily married. Stop following girls around and follow Jesus. When you are ready to get married for the purpose of sanctification, reflecting God’s love for the church, and loving her, then pick one godly woman (cf. 1 Tim 3:2) and pursue her… but give her room to breathe.

Whatever you are pursuing, Jesus is better (cf. the book of Hebrews and actually the whole Bible).